The Regret
by Final Hikari
Summary: You don’t have to remember to feel regret. Seeing the pain of another and having the shadow of a person you once were but don’t recall hanging over you is enough. ---series of oneshots, Lenneth x Lucian---
1. Transferred

The Regret

Chapter I

Transferred

Lenneth followed Lucian as they continued deeper into the forest. The path got smaller and the trees and bushes thickened as they got further away from Coriander. She trailed a few feet behind him, the nostalgic feeling growing as he listened to his explanation of when he'd run away with Platina.

"We ran until our lungs were about to burst…" He continued, stopping momentarily.

Lenneth slowed and was about to ask if something was wrong as he glanced back at her briefly before grabbing her hand. She hadn't expected the movement or his gentle grip.

"Like this!"

Lenneth blinked in surprise as he began to run, pulling her along with him. She didn't have any trouble keeping up with him, but the familiarity of the situation was nearly haunting. That morning when she arrived at the town she and her einherjar had been staying Lucian had been missing.

She was short-tempered from Freya's rant when she'd gone to look for him, as her progress report had been anything but good. When she found him on a cliff looking down at the city below, he hadn't acknowledged her presence. Though she had the suspicion Mystina and Jelanda had followed her, his silence had bothered her.

When she was ready to leave he'd asked if they could go to Coriander. She'd agreed without hesitation but instructed her other einherjar not to follow nonetheless. She found the time spent alone with him was better than she expected, even though they didn't talk about much more than memories.

Well, Lucian had also joked about when Badrach had gotten drunk the night before and started flirting with all the female einherjar, even Lorenta, but that was on their way to the village and it hardly counted…

The ground started sloping upward and trees thinned slightly before they slowed and reached the top of the hill. A large valley stretched before them, flowers in bloom covering the ground. The twilight sun was sinking behind the trees in the distance, the orange sky accenting the flowers below. Wind was blowing the petals in all directions, the occasional gust creating a spiral in midair.

"And then we stumbled upon this place." Lucian said remorsefully, releasing her hand.

They walked down the hill slowly, the wind blowing the small petals of the Weeping Lilies.

"This is…" Lenneth paused, remembering the grave she'd found in the valley shortly after her mission started, "Weeping Lily Meadow?"

"Yes." Lucian replied as the continued downward.

They stopped when reached a flat area in the flowers, Lenneth's gaze surveying the horizon for a moment. The sun was gently dipping below the distant mountains. Lucian turned to face her and their eyes met once more.

"May I ask a favor? Would you take off your helmet?"

Lenneth reached up and removed her helmet wordlessly, flipping her hair backward as she did to clear any helmet head she'd attained.

Lucian's eyes widened at the resemblance. The only thing that didn't fit was her stoic expression. Even though she never seemed to show much emotion, he could picture her smiling much easier.

He stepped forward saying, "I knew it! You look just like her…"

"That girl…" Lenneth trailed off.

"Yes, that girl, Platina." Lucian said, his expression darkening and his gaze falling to the ground. "She inhaled the Weeping Lily pollen. It was my fault…that she died. If I hadn't convinced her to run away with me, she'd still be alive."

"And you think that I look like this girl?" Lenneth asked simply.

"I know!" He said abruptly, his head snapping upward as his eyes met hers. His tone softened slightly as he continued, "I know it's wrong to feel this way about a stranger just because she looks like someone else. But it doesn't change the fact that I love her."

Though her expression never wavered, he didn't want to meet her gaze. Without giving much thought to the movement, Lenneth stepped forward to cover the distance between them. She placed her hand on his shoulder to draw his attention and leaned forward, pressing her lips to his briefly. She stepped back wordlessly, his eyes sad though he smiled slightly.

"It's kind of strange to be asking this all of a sudden, but do you have an actual name?" She looked at him questioningly as he added, "Well, you just let everybody call you Valkyrie. But that's only your title, right? Don't you have an actual name?"

"You're fading." Lenneth answered calmly.

"What?" He asked sharply, glancing down at himself to see that he was actually becoming transparent.

"You're being transferred to Asgard. You've overcome your earthly binds by accepting your death. You can now advance to Asgard to aid in the fight against the Vanir."

"Will I ever return to Midgard?"

"After the war, if you wish, you could be released. You'd be able to move about in Midgard freely then."

He held out her hand and laced her fingers between his as she felt the warmth and solidity of his hand disappear.

"I suppose I should have paid more attention when you explained what the Vanir were, eh?" He asked jokingly.

The ghost of a smile passed across her face as she said, "Don't worry. You'll know all you need to before you're deployed into battle."

He smiled broadly at her as his vision started blurring. He was losing focus on the valley and the line dividing the sky and land was nearly gone.

"Lenneth." She said suddenly. He looked at her questioningly a moment before she added, "My real name…is Lenneth."

He smiled at her one last time before disappearing completely. Lenneth lowered her hand to her side and she closed her eyes, the unfitting feeling of remorse filling her. She shook her head slightly, hoping to clear the unbecoming human emotion but it remained hanging over her.

She opened her eyes and looked up to the sky, watching it darken for a long moment. The opposite horizon was changing from orange to blue than purple as the day ended and the night began. She felt strangely alone, though it was one of the few times she wasn't being followed by a fair sum of einherjar. She remembered her last visit to the valley a few months prior and started walking in the direction where the grave undead had been gathering.

_I wonder…I wonder if that was Platina's grave…_

The sky had gone completely dark when she descended the hill and the large stone came into view. She knelt down in front of the stone, placing her helmet down beside it. She'd never noticed it before, but she was more comfortable without it.

She brushed the flower petals from the stone and tried to read what was left of the messy inscription. It looked as though it had been carved in with a knife, and she hadn't bothered to try reading it before. She traced the letters with her fingers, the name on the stone suddenly becoming clear to her.

_Platina_

She stood and pulled her helmet back into place, silently deciding not to take common Midgard methods to return to Villnore. Walking the distance with Lucian had been nice but she had no reason to walk this time.

She stopped and her gaze fell to the gravestone once more. She'd been unnerved the first time she'd visited Weeping Lily Meadow but didn't know why. She felt as though she was closer to knowing why, but even further from her duties to Odin.

She let the white valkyrie wings appear around her and gently began to ascend into the air. Once she was a fair distance above even the highest mountain's peak, she could see the moon rising above the horizon. It was nearly full.

_Lucian…_ She thought sadly, _I hope to see you again soon…I wonder if you'll remember my name._

_**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**_

Final Hikari here! I decided to write this one shot after watching the original scene. I took the ending into my own hands quite a bit, but decided it'd be fitting to include the bit with Lucian asking what Lenneth's true name was. It bothered me from the moment I started playing VP1 it was always "Valkyrie." XD But I slowly noticed _only_ other Aesir called her Lenneth.

Plus, having a character wonder if another character will 'remember their name' is a very sad concept, when you think of it. In a real life situation one could be wondering it they meant enough to another person for them to care enough to 'remember their name.' Whereas in Valkyrie Profile: Lenneth it'd be an interesting and believable addition.

For Valkyrie Profile I thought emphasizing on Lenneth experiencing but not accepting human emotions and thoughts. I kinda got the idea during the scene 'Homunculus.' Anyway, I'll end it here! Also note I didn't intend to replace Lenneth hovering above Weeping Lily Meadow watching the moon rise with the scene in which she says the gap between gods and humans cannot be traversed. Thanks for reading and please review!


	2. Unable To Cry

The Regret

Chapter II

Unable To Cry

_"Body, mind, soul: all are sheared away."_

The voice filled the void of darkness and silence and reverberated. She felt as though she was completely surrounded and enclosed within it while being forced away from it all at the same time.

_"If to serve this purpose I shall be despised, my body scorched and blackened, so be it."_

Who did the voice belong to? Why was it so haunting familiar? Her thoughts were like many thin chains without solidity or connections. She couldn't call to them to rationally determine where and who she was. Nevertheless, she had the vague awareness of what was around her. Was the force pushing her away from the voice…her own will?

_"If to serve this purpose, I must command forbidden magicks, so be it!"_

Yes…it was her own will telling her not to follow the voice. The person it belonged to could not be trusted. His name and face eluded her, but something deep inside knew not to get too close. Uncertainty and traces of fear were associated with the voice. She was alarmed when she was suddenly pulled forward and the darkness disappeared momentarily.

_"Though my body may be tainted…"_

The vision of a room flashed before her. It was a bright place, though it was blurry and she could not be sure what she was seeing. She noticed the indistinguishable forms of three people. Their distinctive auras separated them from the rest of the room.

_"Though my soul may be tainted…"_

She could think again. She could feel a body of some sort ready to respond to her actions. Was it truly her own? No…it couldn't have been. It was too small, too weak… She was jolted closer to the voice yet again and lost conception of resistance. She was alarmed at first but a wave of familiarity washed over her. She no longer felt as though the body was so distant as darkness overtook her once more.

_"I imbue thee with though."_

Yes…this body was her own. Without a doubt. But what was this sudden foreboding that flooded over her? Her curiosity mounted and she awaited the emotion to take form. Maybe it could tell her who she was and why there was strange divide within her mind.

_"I swear as the gods swear,"_

This feeling curling around the edges of her consciousness…what was it? It felt far too minor for the extreme foreboding that was starting dissipate around her. She couldn't remember anything, so the worst it could be was physical pain.

_"And breath life into the void!"_

A scream caught in her throat as her eyes snapped open. She slumped to the floor, her eyes falling closed as the pain sank over her like a heavy veil, immobilizing her. It was nothing in comparison to physical pain. This pain came from within her and tore her up from the inside out. She was sure as the darkness invaded her senses once more that the pain was completed with another emotion. It didn't make sense though…why would it be it regret?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_"Would you forget me too, Platina?"_

"There, she should be coming too."

The voice was hazy and hard to understand. She couldn't be sure of his exact words. More hushed voices, one sounding uncertain and nearly afraid, spun around the room. Opening her eyes would have been too much of a strain.

_"I just want to forget…forget it all."_

It felt though as the words had just parted company with her lips. Something else nagged at the feeling, but it was insignificant in comparison with her thoughts. She _hadn't _just uttered those words. She was no longer in physical pain, though her current body felt unusually heavy. She was uncertain with the functionality of her senses but they were not gently slipping away from her as they had been before.

_I…died, didn't I?_

_But I have a body now, don't I?_

She tried sitting up and despite some minor protest from her tired muscles she found herself able to do so. She tried remembering what had happened since Lucian asked her if she would forget him too that would explain why she felt so drained, but no such memories came to mind.

_Lucian…_ She thought, a pang of regret shooting though her mind. _I left you all alone…you kept calling to me, even after I couldn't hear you anymore…_

She looked up, her expression blank as a rather suggestively dressed woman smile down at her. She shivered as the other mage in the room spoke. It was his voice that pulled her from the void.

"Brahms Castle, eh? Shall we go?"

The woman turned to him and nodded saying, "Let's. Arngrim? Are you ready?"

A hulking, armor-clad man stepped forward from where he'd been hanging back in the corner of the room. His gaze fell upon the girl before meeting the older woman's. "Yes."

The male mage that made her feel so unsettled nodded approving and held out an arm, as a purple, almost fuchsia, aura spread around the trio. Their bodies became slightly translucent as the light curled around their limbs. They were temporarily transparent before disappearing. The remaining light burst into purple glitter and drifted to the downward, snapping into nothingness when it hit the floor or any of the furniture in the room.

She leaned back on the bed and stared at the ceiling, feeling futile in every way.

_"Would you forget me too, Platina?"_

_Lucian…where are you now? I feel as though I should know, but I feel so alone here. I had no faith in him then…I couldn't accept my parents had really sold me. I thought he was overreacting at the time but he was right._

_I wonder how much time has passed since I died…must have been a while, if I'm able to think like this without feeling guilty._

She felt worried a moment later, but doubted the emotion had registered on her face.

_Where did Lucian go? There's no way he went back to Coriander… I suppose he could have gone to Villnore, but that's such a large distance from the Weeping Lily Meadow. I hope he got there okay…_

She shifted slightly, uncomfortable with the abrupt change of emotions spiraling through her mind. What was this alien feeling? It was uncharacteristic for her with such regret controlling her thoughts. A rational, unusually calm thought passed through her mind; _I know he got out of there fine, he was living in Gerabellum._

_How did I know that…? _She wondered, suddenly alarmed. Why as she suddenly feeling further and further away from the memory of her last moments in Weeping Lily Meadow? She tried remembering, becoming sure she was missing memories. She winced as physical pain erupted from within her mind.

Her eyes widened as she came to a horrible realization. She was not just a teenage girl of Coriander. She had lead another life between then and now. Lucian was part of that life too. However…why couldn't she remember any of it?

She felt betrayed by her own mind. She had met him again! She knew where he was! She knew…she knew what happened to him. But she couldn't remember any of it…she was aware when she had met him again, she was completely unaware of his identity…

She closed her eyes and became aware of her weakness. She could barely move. She could barely convey the pain that was overflowing from within her. She sensed the regret of another person that was her and not her all at the same time.

_Lucian!_ She thought desperately, unable to recall the memory she knew would be horrible. _What's happening to me? Who am I? Do I even want to be this person?_

The tumultuous emotions she was feeling were enough to make her feel fatigued. She felt sleep and peaceful unconsciousness beckoning to her mind. She wouldn't have given into it if it weren't for the fact she was unable to cry.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Author's Note: Yep, I'm reopening The Regret. I've decided to add to a few other scenes. I am particularly proud of this installment, since I always thought this part of the game was very critical but vastly underrated. I took a lot of this into my own hands but I think it's an acceptable idea. After all, Lezard says he doesn't know what has become of Lenneth's persona and all. Plus, I've been dying to use the Sovereign's Rite incantation in something. XD

I'm a big supporter of Lenneth x Lucian but their pairing doesn't get much attention. After I finished Valkyrie's Favor I plan on working on Iterum Tu Videre, and also think of starting a Lenneth x Lucian fic. For now, The Regret will be a collection of scenes from various points in the game.

Thanks for reading and please review! I'll be updating the little intro paragraph soon, too. I have a few ideas for other scenes to add to and a few random parodies for their pairing. If you have any suggestions or scenes you'd like to see here, just say so in a review or email me!


	3. Ascension to Valkyrie

The Regret

Chapter III

Ascension to Valkyrie

Mystina had been careful to hide her apprehension the entire journey. Fighting Hrist Valkyrie alongside Brahms had been surprisingly simple with the assistance of the Lord of the Undead. She hadn't thought much of what Brahms said of Hrist 'not being fully awakened' but during the battle it was evident Lenneth had been stronger. Whether it was because Hrist had just awakened or Lenneth was simply stronger, she didn't know.

Lezard had said her soul suffered great degeneration and that any changes to her psyche could be amplified by the half-elf homunculus, but she had no idea how that could impact her memories and personality. At one point on their way back to the Academy Lezard had mentioned a previous life Valkyrie had lead as a human.

_Lenneth…_ Mystina remembered randomly. _Her real name is Lenneth. I don't know why I never asked…why wouldn't 'Valkyrie' simply be her position? It was foolish to think she didn't have an actual name._

_…I wonder if it ever hurt her. None of her einherjar not thinking enough of her to be curious enough to ask. Most of us didn't think too much of Lenneth as a person. Only Lucian really tried reaching out to her…but he's dead now. At leas that's what Lezard said._

She furrowed her brows slightly as another question popped into her head; _just how __**does**__ Lezard know all this? Granted, he has the Philosopher's Stone but with how much he complains about how slowly it works he must have some other way of keeping track of things in Asgard…_

She shook her head and dismissed all other thoughts as Lezard called to her to begin the spell. She nodded and straightened, clearing her mind completely before summoning the thoughts and power required for the spell. She looked under half-closed eyelids as Arngrim stepped back and away from the magic to stand near the stairs.

Spirals of yellow and green jumped up from the floor and encircled both mages as they collectively began the spell. They arched in semispherical forms around them and gave off a radiant glow. A pale white glow spread over the figure of the young homunculus and she began to fade. As the bed sheets below her became visible the form of a crystal directly above her heart gained solidity.

She floated into the air, the sheet that had covered her falling back down sloppily on the bed. Her nightgown blew gently in the breeze circulating in the room. Her eyes remained closed as that step of the processes neared completion. Mystina allowed the other crystal, containing the body of Lenneth in which Hrist had taken over, appear beside the other one. Mystina blinked in surprise, though it could have been a glint of light, as a single tear slid down the homunculus' cheek before she was gone.

She dismissed the thoughts and refocus on the next part of the spell. It would be the most difficult, without a doubt. She closed her eyes and summoned up more of the elusive power over the forbidden magicks Lezard had been schooling her in. She had great difficulty maintaining control over them and it bothered her deeply how her greasy and perverted teacher seemed to command them effortlessly.

She sensed the light in the room brighten though her eyelids as the breeze amplified into a wind. She opened her eyes and watched as the two crystals began to flash before sinking into each other. The light illuminated the room so suddenly she imagined any passerby even on the ground floor of the castle would have seen the flash from the window.

_And Lezard thinks having the suit at the very top of the school is shabby…we'd have been bothered by a myriad of people by now if it wasn't so private. Then again, he does have his own tower so I suppose his lab is a tiny bit more apt for this sort of thing…_

She shook her head slightly and refocused on the spell. The outline of Lenneth Valkyrie's body was coming into view as the single crystal began to fade. Mystina watched as the solidity of her armor increased. Her skin was pale and seemed to take longer to come into view. Her braid was blown back and forth in the wind, her head hanging down with her helmet obscuring her expression from view.

She felt a wave of relief wash over her as the light of the spells faded and Lenneth's body became completely solid and she drifted down to the floor. She couldn't help but smile slightly, wondering how the Valkyrie would react. Nevertheless, Lenneth Valkyrie's reaction was nothing like the possible scenarios that played out in her mind.

She sank to her knees, hugging her arms close to her torso. Lezard's expression was impassive as she began to tremble. Mystina felt disappointment and worry wash over her. She was all too aware of Lezard's warning regarding soul degeneration. What if they'd successfully reclaimed her body but her soul was so incomplete, she would simply cease to exist after all?

"What's…" Mystina finally broke the silence, "wrong with her?"

Lezard slid his glasses up the bridge of his nose so the lamplight glinted off the lenses and hid his eyes saying, "Her persona may be gone. If we are lucky, that is the least that is wrong with her."

"Are you saying none of this worked?" Arngrim asked from his place in the corner, his tone flat and cold. "It was all a waste of time?"

"Look, if you hadn't-" Lezard began, but was quickly interrupted.

"No…" Lenneth whispered suddenly, silencing the potential argument.

"Shhh!" Mystina said reproachfully. "What'd she say?"

"I hate this!" Lenneth exclaimed suddenly, throwing her head back as her Valkyrie wings appearing.

Lezard jumped back not to be hit by them, falling back on a chair and bring it down with him. Mystina held her arms up in defense, feeling the abrupt gust of wind push her back slightly. She'd seen the Valkyrie's wings many time but most of the time the view was so brief they were only a flash of silver.

This time she saw the fullness of her wings, in their complete form. The arch of the wings was discernible as were the individual feathers. Mystina could tell her eyes were open and despite the flurry of feathers, noticed the tears sliding silently down her cheeks. She a pang of uncertainty and regret over what they'd done. The Valkyrie she'd known was rather stoic and very serious…what could have brought her such great pain upon reawakening?

She fell forward, her hands clenched into fists against the floor. As quickly as her wings unfurled and filled the room they arched around her again. With a definitive flash of light Lenneth Valkyrie was gone. Pure white feathers drifted around the room to settle on the furniture and floor.

Mystina watched numbly, feeling from detached from the situation and severity of what had just transpired. Lezard was swearing to himself as he practically crawled around the floor on his hands and knees groping blindly for his glasses. A little, unfazed, but sadistic voice in the back of her mind was glad he'd finally missed something he'd wanted to see involving the Valkyrie. She'd decided his obsession with her was far beyond unhealthy in the past days.

Arngrim sighed and walked forward, plucking Lezard's glasses from where they'd fallen and broken in mere seconds before handing them to the mage. Lezard's eyesight was completely inefficient, for he didn't realize they were broken before placing them on his face and swearing again.

Mystina sat down on her bed, feeling empty. Her thoughts were tumultuous as she watched halfheartedly as Lezard repaired his glasses with magic. He straightened when he was done and brushed nonexistent dust off his clothes. She felt his eyes on her and anticipated him speaking, and voiced her thoughts before he could.

"Where do you think she went?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Lezard asked bluntly.

She scowled at the other mage asking, "What, you know?"

"Of course." Lezard said snidely.

"Mind telling us, then?" Arngrim asked, apparently not nearly as bothered as Mystina was by his rudeness. She supposed at least one of them wasn't easily distracted…

"It would seem her persona isn't as decayed as we feared. Did you ever hear the term about a criminal returning to the scene of the crime."

"Lenneth isn't a criminal!" Mystina said coldly.

Lezard sighed loudly, taking his time before explaining, "It's a mere comparison. If you're not going to pick up on it, I'm not going to keep giving you hints."

"Just tell us where the hell she is." Arngrim said brusquely, scowling down at the mage.

Lezard eyed the berserker momentarily before saying, "She's returned to Weeping Lily Meadow. I can transport us there immediately."

Mystina stood and nodded, his assumption making sense. "Fine. But if you don't know for sure, just remember when assuming does."

He smirked at her saying, "Yes, I remember what assuming does. It makes an ass out of both _you_ and me. As you can see, I wouldn't be the only fool in that circumstance."

Mystina rolled her eyes as Arngrim shook his head at them both saying, "Let's hurry."

--

Final Hikari here! And if you're reading this note at the end, that means you've probably read the chapter proceeding it, so thanks for dropping by! Feel free to review. Suggestions for future installments are always welcomed!

But, yes, it's yet another addition to The Regret! This is another scene right after the last one that I felt moved too fast in VP. I enjoyed writing Mystina and Lezard's bickering, since they were always at each other's throats just about every chance they got. The last bit with assuming was a freak idea I simply couldn't resist adding. XD

Also, I was asked about the title. Since in the VP1 remake for the PSP has the scene where Lucian is released in Weeping Lily Meadow done up with the FMV animation of modern gaming, it can be replayed from the start menu. Furthermore, it is titled "The Regret." I have yet to determine if it has the same title in the PS1 original, or if they even gave that scene some anime animation back then, and I'd imagine anybody who has broadband and uses YouTube knows that, but I thought I should inform you anyway. And yes…that'll be the last run on sentence in this author's note, don't worry.

Now that the story has grow into a collection of one shots, rather than the single one shot it started out as (both on this website and in my mind) I could change the titled but I'm happy with it the way it is. It's fitting either way, since no matter how you word it the plotline revolving around Lenneth and Lucian is very regretful.

Think of it; though it was summarized briefly in Valkyrie Profile: Lenneth, it's quite sad. Lucian finally gets to meet the true self of the girl he'd cared for all his life and was unable to forget even after her death, but she doesn't remember him at all. Additionally, it's not like he could explain much of that to her. For the obsessive fans who like to lizard over their pairing (yeah, twisted choice of words, I know) and enjoy manually translating Romaji scripts from the original Japanese version, the scene in VP:L in where Lucian is released is a tad longer. In other words, they say more. And it's worded better.

But anyway, the finish that thought up… By the time Lucian learns Lenneth is indeed Platina, he doesn't really have time to tell her. So there's another part of this cycle of remorse. Then when he's tricked by Loki and does get to talk to get shortly before dying, she yells at him and says his actions are unforgivable. Frankly, that's some dedication he's got working not to be even a little bothered later in the plot, but anyway… When Lenneth realizes the severity of her actions, she can't apologize. So even though she knows her voice can never reach him, she continues to mourn his loss. Yay for abundant regret.

All right, that's all the ranting you'll have to endue from me for one author's note! Also, I don't own anything Valkyrie Profile. No disclaimers for this story…unless the readers ask for them, then I'd be happy to supply. XD

Besides…who doesn't like the pairing of Hero McGenericGuy and Medieval Goddess KOS-MOS? -fends off LezardxLenneth pairing fans with stick-

-stick breaks-

-fans glare-

Final Hikari: -gulp- Oh shit…


	4. Why?

The Regret

Chapter IV

Why?

Lenneth Valkyrie's heart was racing as she appeared above Weeping Lily Meadow. She dropped to the ground gracelessly, silver feathers getting caught in the wind her wings produced and fluttering down to the ground. She left her Valkyrie wings fade a moment later.

_It has to be here! Hrist didn't take it with her…I dropped it near the grave…_

Her breathing was ragged as she jumped to her feet and began to scan the ground for any sign of what had transpired there earlier. She thought she saw the rock marking Platina's grave and stepped forward but her knees gave out from under her.

She dropped to the cold grass, her body trembling violently. She tried to take a deep breath to quell the unbecoming reaction for a goddess but at that moment she didn't feel like a goddess. Far from it. She didn't even want to be a goddess…

One of her own silver feathers drifted down the land in front of her hands. She looked up, staring at the mid-winter constellations distantly. The translucent night sky was the only thing that didn't reflect the unbecoming human emotions she was succumbing to.

She closed her eyes tightly. _If this is what it means to have "humanity," I don't want it. I want to be like that sky again, undaunted by what goes on around and below me._

Lenneth swallowed and got to her feet, running toward what looked like the grave. She pushed the lilies around it away, muttering one of the swear words Arngrim and Lawfer would often use as she scanned the rest of the area without luck.

It had been twilight where she woke up, but she was nearly on the exact opposite side of the continent and it was the dark of night. The moon was still full but clouds were scattered about in the sky, taking away from its luminescence shining down on the ground below.

She was always there at night. It was almost an ironic and cruel twist of fate the only time she was there at twilight was when she had transferred Lucian. There was no worse time of the day or night than twilight. Dawn was different; it ushered in a new day. Twilight only summoned the night to fill Midgard with darkness.

A stab of pain filled her heart when his name passed through her mind. She felt tears welling up in her eyes as she continued to search desperately for the earring. _Twilight…if Ragnarok is the Twilight of The Gods, then surely, that could be called the twilight of us._

She hardly noticed when Arngrim, Mystina, and Lezard appeared. There was a breeze blowing in the valley but it was interrupted by the sudden gust of wind when the transfer magic began. There was a large flash of pinkish-purple tinted light as the circle formed. It illuminated the area for a long moment and cast colored shadows against the surrounding mountains.

The gust blew Lenneth's hair and skirt forward as a large stone far off to her left came into view. Her heart leapt at its' sight. She tried to quell the sudden hope as she ran in the direction she saw it. It was a simple task; yet the sorrow had been crushing her since she'd recovered her memories.

She dropped to her knees near the tombstone and ran her fingers along the ground between the flowers, seeking the small silver earring. She tried to recreate the events in her mind after she picked it up.

The memories had started rushing back; countless painful memories, the only good ones involving Lucian. The strongest and most prominent memories that had dilated her mind were dying in the very same valley.

After that, when she started collecting herself, Odin and Freya's 'failsafe' engaged and Hrist started overtaking her mind and body. She wasn't sure if the reminiscence of her old life was worse than slowly losing herself to the other Valkyrie.

_Hrist threw it…surely she didn't crush it before that…_

_But she could have._

The Valkyrie shuddered at the thought. She could picture it too clearly; the earring was old and fragile. It'd shatter and break into such tiny pieces, it'd be impossible to find them all.

_This is not repentance…even if I find the earring, nothing will change what I've done…_

_Nothing will bring him back…_

_**Nothing will undo his death.**_

"What's she doing?" Mystina asked, Lenneth only distantly noticing her voice.

"She seems to be looking for something…" Lezard replied, hanging back as Arngrim stepped forward.

"Calm down!" The warrior called after her.

"No!" Lenneth yelled frantically, "Lucian gave me that earring…"

"Who's Lucian?" Lezard asked Mystina quietly, scowling slightly.

"Uh, another einherjar…," Mystina replied hesitantly, knowing how Lazard was going to get. She glanced over to Lenneth then added sadly, "they seemed to get along really well."

Lezard frowned at Mystina's reply. "A _male _einherjar involved in close relations with _my _Lenneth?"

Mystina sighed in response. He always had to be a distraction. "Don't be such a freak, Lezard…this is _serious._"

"So is some oaf of a knight fraternizing with Lenneth!" Lezard retorted sourly.

"The earring is all…it's all that…it's all that I have left of Lucian!" Lenneth cried, the tears that had been forming in her eyes finally overflowing as she leaned back, arms hanging limply at her sides. "…Lucian… Why, Lucian? Why did you have to die like that?"

She looked up at the half hidden moon hopelessly. "What can I do?" Her voice cracked as she spoke and slumped forward in dejection. "I cannot make amends…I cannot return him to the living…!"

"I…," she whispered hollowly, straightening and letting her gaze settle on the full moon. It was a perfect sphere. "I hate it…"

--

Author's Note: And I hate my parnets interupting me EVERY TWO SECONDS. There's a mad scientist at work in here! -runs around in circle madly- WHY DID I LEAVE IT ALL UNTIL TODAY?

Ahem…

Today, September 3rd, 2008, celebrates me being a member of for exactly one year! Open a bottle of Don Perignon! XD Okay, sorry, I'll stop listening to Utada Hikaru's Heart Station album now…

I don't remember when I started posting, but I remember coming up with my screen name. I was brainstorming with a person who is no longer a large part of my life. That got me thinking about everything that has changed.

I got looking at some of my older stories like Valkyrie's Favor and Xenosaga IV. I've been very active in the Final Fantasy VII section writing Crisis Core fan fics for the last six or so months, but I still remember where I started out and where I was originally welcomed to .

Thus, I'd just like to say "thanks" to all my readers! :D Hugs and cookies for you all!

Now I shall end this rant on a positive note before I yell that my father distracting me every three seconds is going to drive me mad…subete…


	5. Flowers

The Regret

Chapter V

Flowers

Lenneth Valkyrie, no longer clad in her elegant armor, but in the simple set of clothes she wore for entering Midgard's cities, sighed as she sat down on the edge of the bed. The hotel room wasn't terribly large, though it wasn't cramped either.

They'd decided to go southeast, toward Villnore, instead of northwest to Coriander. Not only did she dread returning to the town she'd once lived in as a human, but they doubted Coriander could provide sufficient lodging. She didn't feel like sharing a room with Mystina that night; she wanted to be left alone with her thoughts.

_Not just the town I lived in…_ she thought darkly, squeezing her eyes tightly shut. _The town we both lived in back when we were human…and very much alive. There isn't even a reminiscence of that time left now._

After a long distance Transport spell from Flenceburg to Weeping Lily Meadow, and a successful Sovereign's Rite before that, Lazard and Mystina hadn't felt up to a second Transport spell. Two humans completing a Sovereign's Rite was an accomplishment in itself, potentially a first in the history of mankind.

The Sovereign's Rite was normally performed by Freya in the presence and by consent of Odin. It was highly unorthodox for anyone else to attempt it, whether the person was an Aesir, human, elf, Vanir, or any other race. She'd heard of people trying it, but it always failed miserably usually in the result of a annihilated vessel and corrupted soul.

It reflected Lezard's power and potential to become one of Midgard's most accomplished mages. Since he had no abolitions for such things, it left him as a huge danger to Valhalla and a threat to every world that branched off Yggdrasil and beyond.

She couldn't blame them for being tired; they'd done a lot for her to regain her Valkyrie form. Lezard's motives, though the seeds of corrupted were planted deep within them from the start, were acceptable enough for the time being. She held a undeniable distain for the mage, but would contemplate thanking him for his efforts if the situation deemed it necessary.

Otherwise, if she was in a good mood, she'd simply slap him for being such a low-life pervert. _Then again, I think Mystina already had…almost definitely, actually. They did go to school together. They were even taught by the same sorceress. I wonder what Lezard thought to see Lorenta as one of my einherjar._

She stood up and headed to the window on the far side of the room. She slid the curtain open and started untying the small red ribbon that kept her braid in place. She looked down over the streets of Villnore, slowly unbraiding her long silvery hair. They were put on the uppermost floor of the inn, making the view fairly high.

Stagnant and unchanging memories that haunted her like phantoms or undead would form in her mind's eye everywhere she looked ever since regaining her memories. _Or more accurately…Platina's memories._

The one that came to mind as she watched the stores and sidewalk merchants close up for the night was relevant to the young woman closing her cart of flowers. Much of it still seemed to be full; it wouldn't be surprising if it had stayed that way since morning. There was very little extra money for frivolous spending in times of war.

_It would probably be difficult to make a living off something like that nowadays… _Lenneth thought absentmindedly, watching the woman on the other side of the street, a few yards down from the hotel. Many pedestrians were heading toward the residential areas or leaving stores, but they all passed without as much s glancing at the flower cart.

Unlike the last time Lenneth--or rather, Platina, had seen the woman, she was no longer alone. She was a teenager in Platina's memories, but now was a young woman and had a small child at her side. The child tugged at her mother's skirt, looking as though she were asking to be carried.

She remembered the event clearly. Lucian's father had to get a few things in the city and agreed to bring Lucian along. With further persuasion, Platina had also been allowed to come. She remembered how her parents had objected, saying she'd fall behind on chores and other household duties.

Though they were both small, and Platina extremely unaccustomed to the bustle of a city, they'd managed to slip away from Lucian's father's watchful eye to explore more of the city together. Lucian had extricated their successful escape, of course.

Toward the end of the day when the sky was being painted by the calming colors of twilight, they'd finally been tracked down and forced to head to the entrance. They were getting hurried to leave so they could still make it back to Coriander not long after nightfall, when the paths were still safe from the undead. Nevertheless, Lucian had stopped to buy her a flower to remember the day by.

_When it started to wilt, I pressed it into a book…it must be long gone by now. That woman I once called "mother" probably burned it after I died._

Despite her dark and borderline vengeful thought, she continued to watch the woman and her child near completion of closing their shop. On a whim with little sense or reason, Lenneth suddenly dashed to the door of the room and down the hall toward the staircase.

Though she ran, she was careful to make sure her boots make little sound against the wooden floor. She didn't need Mystina and Arngrim following her with worried expressions again. _It was so silly and pointless, but meant so much…our families could hardly afford enough food, but he still got me that flower just because I'd been admiring them when we arrived…._

She reached the bottom of the stairs after a few more moments of running but slowly slight to pass through the lobby. The owner at the front desk hadn't found their unusual group very savory and regarded them with cold looks. Lenneth didn't want to draw any unneeded suspicion.

Once she was on the sidewalk and out of the hotel, she regained her previous pace. Villnore didn't calm completely with the coming of night and the lampposts were being lit. As she crossed the street, a portion of a short conversation between the mother and her daughter reached her ears.

"Mommy, how much did we make today?" the little girl asked her mother with a frown as she looked up to her mother questioningly. "There are so many flowers left…"

Lenneth saw the shadow of worry on the mother's expression as she forced a smile when she turned to face her daughter. She ruffled the girl's long brown hair saying, "We earned more than enough for dinner when we get home."

_How much has changed…since I was human…? Not very much, by the look of it…if anything, the poverty that plagued Coriander has spread._

"Excuse me, miss!" Lenneth called, waving to the woman with the flower cart as she hurried down the sidewalk. She was about to close the final compartment of the cart and Lenneth felt a pang of pain fill her heart when she saw they were the same thin but elegant blue and white lilies Lucian had purchased her, all those years ago.

The woman looked up when she heard Lenneth, seeming to look around to make sure the call hadn't been for someone else. Lenneth stopped a few steps away from the cart, slightly out of breath. She still lack her usual stamina; it was an inconvenient side effect of the Sovereign's Rite.

"I'm sorry for coming so late," Lenneth said as the girl ducked behind her mother's skirt. "But how much are flowers?"

"Fifteen Oth," the woman replied, brushing her hands off on her apron. "I have more than just lilies, if you'd like a different kind…"

"No, the lilies are fine," Lenneth replied, looking at the delicate flowers. They were small for their type but their rich dark blue centers that paled before meeting the pure white edges made them beautiful. "How much are in a bouquet?"

"There are twenty," she replied pleasantly, "Since there are so many, we only charge ten Oth each, so the bouquets are two hundred oth."

Lenneth nodded and pulled two silver coins from her pocket. "I'll take both,"

She blinked in surprise then lifted the two bouquets out, leaving the compartment nearly empty. Two forgotten separate lilies and several fallen petals littered the corners. She thanked the Valkyrie profusely as she slid the coins into her pocket.

Lenneth heard the cart's wooden wheels rolling across the cobblestone sidewalks as she headed back to the inn. She crossed the street quickly though there were no carriages coming in either direction, and stared down at the flowers as she entrance. _Just as silly and illogical…but meaningless in comparison to how precious the same flowers there then…_

_--_

Author's note:I really hope I didn't typo and type "Lazard" instead of "Lezard." XD

Not much to rant about this time; I have to refresh my memory about this area of the VP timeline before I post too many more installments of The Regret. Also, if my prices on the flowers were a bit off from what they were in VP2, blame inflation! XD It's rampant in America…-.-

Anyway, hope you like this one! :D The idea was a bit random, but I felt it could fit in nicely, and I got to write it on notebook paper during math class. My next update in the Valkyrie Profile section will be with Valkyrie's Favor…look for it sometime next week!

R&R please!


End file.
